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The Chronicles of Furthermore, the Masonic Raven
Written by Skip Boyer



BROTHER FURTHERMORE IS WORRIED ABOUT YOU....

WISDOM COMES WITH AGE, EXCEPT WHEN AGE COMES ALONE!

Brothers, WBro. Furthermore and I want to talk with you for a few minutes. Ladies, feel free to leave the room, make us our favorite cold beverage and return in a few minutes.

Are they gone?

Okay, guys. Let’s face it. We men have a serious image problem.

Remember the good old days of the 1950s? Television was anchored solidly by popular shows such as "Father Knows Best." And father always did know best. Same thing was true over at "Ozzie and Harriet" and a dozen other great shows. The father was a figure of respect and authority. Dad was a great guy! He demanded respect.

So, my question to you, Brothers, is just what the hell happened?

When did we lose all that great respect and authority? If you doubt that we’ve lost it, turn on the television. Check out Homer Simpson or the rednecks over at "King of the Hill." It’s almost universal. The father has become a buffoon, a figure of fun, highlighted by his general stupidity and dedication to his ever-present six-pack. And, frankly, we’re not helping ourselves any, either, according to my wife. "What’s with the funny hat? And the apron!"

Last week, the local newspaper carried a story of a husband in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Now, some of those folks aren’t exactly the sharpest knives in the drawer but this was off the charts.

The husband decided to have a garage sale. So far, so good. He did this while his wife was out of town visiting family. First mistake. He labeled it "an unauthorized garage sale." Well, at least he recognized the fact his was headed for trouble of biblical proportions.

The sale was a sell-out. He cleared out the garage and cleared $1,000 in the process. Score one for dad.

Then his wife came home. It seems that dad had sold her doll collection, her childhood treasure trove, gifts from her grandfather, etc. It was not a good homecoming, as you can imagine.

His wife did pretty much what your wife would have done; after his wounds were dressed, I mean. She took out a big ad in the local paper with this headline: "Husband in doghouse." That is literal and not figurative, I think. She offered to buy everything back at $3 for every $1 spent. And here’s the scary part: She got most of it back. So instead of buying a round for the guys at the local watering hole, dad lost his thousand dollars and ended up shelling out about three grand.

See what I mean? Right off the Stupid Meter.

I can’t figure it out. Sometime between 1950 and today, they either got smarter or we got dumber. Brothers, we’re all in this together. Stop doing stupid stuff. It may be too late but we owe it to our sons to try.

And now, if you have an ounce of sense, you’ll delete this and burn any printed copies. I wouldn’t want my wife to read this. Or yours, either.




BACK TO THE HOME PAGE?

To all Lodge Trestle Board editors: Feel free to use any of the tales of Furthermore. Should you choose to do so, however, we deny any responsibility for actions by your own lodge. If, after the first couple of columns, the brethren appear restless and begin to surge toward you as you enter the lodge room, we suggest you flee and deny any connection with Furthermore.






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