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The Adventures of Furthermore, the Masonic Raven
Written by Skip Boyer



Procrastinators! Unite! Someday!

Furthermore, my Masonic pet raven brother, and I got back from the Philalethes activities in Washington a couple of weeks ago. Weíve been thinking about writing a few words of thanks to everyone but just hadnít gotten around to it. There is a reason for this, as Furthermore points out when he thinks about it.

We are preparing to celebrate the week of March 6 through 12 as National Procrastination Week.

We apologize for springing this on you. Weíve known about it for weeks. We just havenít had an opportunity to share the information with you, you know?

There is actually a Society of Procrastinators and, one of these days, weíre going to get around to joining it. They held their 1982 convention just last month, or so Iím told. Itís hard to keep track of their activities. Their newsletters are always several years out of date. Iím excited, though. Iíve heard they are thinking about building a website when the bugs are worked out of the Internet.

Actually, I think theyíre missing a good bet. The Internet is the greatest boon to procrastination since numbers. (Have you ever noticed? Any time a thing involves numbers, itís really easy to procrastinate about it.)

With the Internet, you can log on with great intentions and then do absolutely for hoursóand you still feel as though you accomplished something. I mean, you are now an expert on all websites dealing with the color yellow, for example. That has to count for something. Not to mention all the time you can spend with the PSOC list!

But thatís not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to share the Procrastinator's Creed with you. I confess that I did not write this. I would have if I had thought about it and if I hadnít been so busy on the Internet and all, but in honor of the upcoming National Procrastination Week, here it is. Donít feel as though you have to read it right now, of course. The creed is based solidly on the premise that if a thing is worth doing, it has been done already.

The Procrastinatorís Creed

1. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

2. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

3. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

4. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

5. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

6. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitely small is not exactly zero.

7. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

8. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

9. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.

11. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.

12. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

13. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get organized.

Well, thatís enough for now. Furthermore thinks we have more material about this but right now we have something we need to research on the Internet. Weíll write the rest another time. Maybe stuff goes here




BACK TO THE HOME PAGE?

To all Lodge Trestle Board editors: Feel free to use any of the tales of Furthermore. Should you choose to do so, however, we deny any responsibility for actions by your own lodge. If, after the first couple of columns, the brethren appear restless and begin to surge toward you as you enter the lodge room, we suggest you flee and deny any connection with Furthermore.






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