WE WOULD INVITE YOU, BROTHERS, BUT...
"I want a turkey for Thanksgiving," Brother Furthermore, my Masonic pet raven brother, announced last night as I dropped in to check the gin vats. They were low. Big surprise. Almost as big as Brother Furthermore wanting a turkey for Thanksgiving.
"I didn't think you approved of holidays that centered around eating birds," I observed, tactfully.
"Who said anything about eating a bird!" he shot back. "What a horrid thought! No, I just thought we might invite a turkey over to share the holiday and have dinner with us."
Well, that's certainly a nice thought and one that I was a bit surprised came from Brother Furthermore's surreal mind. Still, it is nice to share the holiday with friends, after all. So I asked. I know. You think I would know better by now. I don't.
"Do you know a turkey you would want to invite for dinner?"
Long, dramatic pause, followed by a rimshot.
"Are you kidding! I know hundreds of turkeys! So do you, if you just admit it!"
Well, he had me there. Between us, we know an awfully lot of turkeys. Indeed, some of them are really grand turkeys. So the question became, as we further depleted the gin supply, which turkey should we invite. We considered various politicians. And decided that we didn't want to have to set all those extra places for the Secret Service. We considered local politicians. And decided that most of them wouldn't know which fork to use. We considered various Hollywood residents. But not for long. We considered some grand turkeys, too, it being the brotherly thing to do.
After a time, Brother Furthermore had a swell idea.
"Why," he asked, "don't we just stick to family? I'll invite you."
I think I've been insulted, but with Brother Furthermore, well, you just never know.
Anyway, this Thanksgiving will be one for the family. My daughter, Melanie, is flying in from Washington, D.C., where she has become a resident expert on turkeys; son Kit and his lovely wife, Leah, are flying in from Los Angeles, where they, too, know their share of turkeys. And, of course, Marcia and I and some old friends who are certainly not turkeys. It will be a fine time. Brother Furthermore may even drop by. One never knows.
It's also a time for Brother Furthermore and all of us here in Ravenhaven Lodge, F. & A. M. (Feathered and Animal Masons) to take a moment to say thanks to all our friends and brothers. We appreciate you in more ways than you can ever know.
Happy Thanksgiving, friends!